07/15/2013

• JOKES

  Shaggy Dog A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. When the judges had inspected all of the competing dogs, they remarked about the boy’s dog: “He’s not so shaggy.”

  Two Light Bulbs Two light bulbs are lying in their cardboard sleeve on a shelf somewhere. The first light bulb is a real nervous type. He’s been going on and on. “What if I don’t light up? Seriously, what if I don’t? I will just m’kaying die! Argh, I’m freaking out. And thanks to our m’kaying packaging, we don’t know whether we’re in a store or a warehouse, or if we’re sitting under someone’s kitchen sink moments away from being screwed in and turned on. What if there’s something wrong with my filament? I mean, it feels OK to me, but there’s not really any way of knowing for sure until I get hit with some current. Sure, I passed the factory test and lit up just fine, but what if …” The second light bulb has had enough. “Will you shut the m’kay up! Just shut up!” There is a long awkward silence. Then the first light bulb says, “Well, what else are we supposed to talk about?”

  The Lamp A man is walking alone on the beach when he trips, and stumbles accross an old rusty lamp. Curious, he picks it up and begins to wipe the sand away. He cuts himself on the lamp, giving himself a nasty infection, but after a series of shots he is fine now.

   

  • 1:12 pm
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