07/26/2013
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JOKES
Terrible Accident pt. 1
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
Flattered, the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely!”
continued below….
Terrible Accident pt. 2
… continued from above
“This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”
Pigs in a Bar pt. 1
The first litttle pig went into a bar. He ordered a hundred drinks, and after he drank every single one, he needed to relieve himself. He asked the bartender where the loo was, did his business and left.
The second little pig came in, ordered two hundred drinks, did his business, then left.
continued below….
Pigs in a Bar pt. 2
… continued from above
The third and fourth littles pig came in, ordered three and four hundred drinks respectively, did their business, then left.
The fifth little pig came in, ordered five hundred drinks, and was about to leave, when the bartender stopped him and said, “Hey, don’t you need to go to the loo?”
“No, that’s OK. I go wee wee wee all the way home.”
