12/23/2012

  • JOKES

    Student vs. Stock Broker

    Deciding to take a day off from his important job, a young hot-shot broker went back to visit some of his professors at his old school. Entering the school, he saw a dog attacking a small child. He quickly jumped on the dog and strangled it.

    The next day, the local paper reported the story with the headline "Valiant Student Saves Boy From Fearsome Dog."

    The broker called the editor of the paper and strongly suggested that a correction be issued, pointing out that he was no longer a student, but a successful Wall Street broker.

    The following day, the paper issued a correction, with a headline that read, "Pompous Stock Broker Kills School Mascot."

    Handicapped Parking

    You are parked in a space clearly designated for disabled persons. Please circle the statement which best describes your handicap:

    - I don't read good.

    - I suffer from terminal laziness.

    - I have Attention Deficit Disorder. Huh?

    - My inner child was bugging me for ice cream.

    - My shoes are too expensive to walk in.

    - Wheelchair symbol? I thought it was a rocking chair!

    - My religion forbids acts of common courtesy.

    - I ignore OTHER laws, why not this one?

    - I AM disabled... by a painfully swollen ego.

    The Top 10 Things Engineering School Didn't Teach

    10. There are about 10 types of capacitors.

    9. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it doesn't work.

    8. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.

    7. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use.

    6. Always try to fix the hardware with the software.

    5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life.

    4. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?

    3. Engineers rule the world until the next revision.

    2. If you like junk food, caffeine, and all-nighters, then you should go into architecture.

    1. Dilbert is a documentary.

    What is Pi?

    Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?"

    The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7"

    The physicist said: "It is 3.14159"

    The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi".

    A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert

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