01/18/2013

  • JOKES

    Water in the Carburetor

    WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

    HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

    WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

    HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

    WIFE: "In the pool."

    Counting Sheep

    Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.

    Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.

    The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:

    "Nana?"

    "Yes?"

    "There are 38."

    Three Old Men

    Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.

    "I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business'," declared the first man.

    "Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man'."

    Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"

    "Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"

    Dinosaur Plumbing

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire fixture, no small feat for a non-plumber. Jammed inside the drain was a purple rubber dinosaur, which belonged to my five-year-old son. I painstakingly got all the toilet parts together again, the tank filled, and I flushed it.

    However, it didn't work much better than before! As I pondered what to do next, my son walked into the bathroom. I pointed to the purple dinosaur I had just dislodged and told him that the toilet still wasn't working.

    "Did you get the green one, too?" he asked.