01/28/2013

• JOKES

  New Checking Account The teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account. "The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store," his mother said. "Oh good," he replied, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!"

  55 Policeman: "When I saw you coming around the corner, I said to myself, `fifty-five at least.'" Woman driver: "Well, you are a long way off! It's this hat that makes me look so old!"

  Mother's Wedding Dress A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding." The bride's mother thinks for a minute. "Don't worry," she tells her daughter. "I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony." "But mother," says the bride, "that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it." "Who said I won't use it?" her mother asked. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner."

  The Frog A frog walks into a bank and asks the teller, "Who do I talk to about getting a loan?" The teller shows him to the office of the loans manager, Ms. Patricia Black. "I would like a loan for $20.00 to buy a new lily pad," the frog tells her. "Do you have any collateral?" asks Ms. Black. The frog produces a small statuette of the Eiffel Tower with the inscription "Souvenir of Paris" engraved on the base. Unsure whether or not the object is worth the amount of the loan, she summons the bank manager. The manager inspects the trinket, nods his head, and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Black - give the frog a loan."

  • 1:50 am
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