01/31/2013

• JOKES Unruly Child A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his fat

  Unruly Child A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, ‘I’m running away from home!’. The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. ‘What if you get hungry?’, he said. ‘Then I’ll come home and eat!’, bravely declared the child. ‘ And what if you run out of money?’. ‘I will come home and get some!’, readily replied the child. The man then made a final attempt, ‘What if your clothes get dirty?’. ‘Then I’ll come home and let mommy wash them.’, was the reply. The man shook his head and exclaimed, ‘This kid is not running away from home, he’s going off to college!!’.

  The Witness An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Richard, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Richard , “I saw him plainly take the goods.” The lawyer asks Richard again, “Richard, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?” “Yes” says Richard, “I saw him do it.” Then the lawyer asks Richard, “Richard listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?” Richard says, “I can see the moon, how far is that?”

  Dress Code Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, “Dressed a little casually today, aren’t we?” The man replied, “That’s one of the benefits you get of owning the company.”

  Texas At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas. After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man. “Say, is this really a healthy place?” “It sure is,” the man replied. “When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.” “That’s wonderful!” said Bill. “How long have you been here?” “I was born here.”

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