02/28/2013

• DAIY JOKES

  Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor I think I’m a moth. So why did you come around then? Well, I saw this light at the window…! Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee. Have you tried taking the spoon out? Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon! Well sit still and don’t stir! Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. I’ll deal with you later. Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you’ll have a bad headache. Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there are two of me. One at a time please! Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? I never make rash promises!

  Veterinary Clinic Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog’s chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, but your dog has passed away.” “What?” Glenn screamed. “You haven’t even done any tests! I want another opinion.” The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it’s head and barked once (meaning “dead and gone”). The vet took the Labrador away and returned a few minutes later with a cat, which also sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before shaking its head and saying, “Meow” (meaning “he’s gone”). After the cat jumped off the table, the vet handed Glenn a bill for $600. The man shook the bill at the vet. “$600!!!! Just to tell me my dog is dead?!!! That’s outrageous!” The vet explained. “If you had taken my word for it, the charge would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan….”

  For The Kids… What was King Arthur’s favorite game? Knights and crosses! Where was the Declaration of Independance signed? At the bottom! Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah’s court! Wish I had been born 1000 years ago! Why is that? Just think of all the history that I wouldn’t have to learn!

  Top 10 Reasons to Become a Nurse 1. Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren’t as good. 2. Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms. 3. Needles: It’s better to give than to receive. 4. Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops eventually. 5. Expose yourself to rare, exotic, & exciting new diseases. 6. Interesting aromas. 7. Courteous & infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting. 8. Do enough charting to navigate around the world. 9. Celebrate the holidays with all your friends, at work. 10. Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

  • 6:00 pm
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