03/22/2013

  • JOKES

    Perfume Counter

    A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter.

    She sees, "My Sin", "Desire", and "Ecstasy".

    She says to the salesperson, "I don't want to get emotionally involved...I just want to smell nice."

     

    The Biggest Scam

    The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.

    The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

     

    A Deep Rooted Delusion

    Perhaps you've heard of the man who thought he was dead? In reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

    The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive.

    Nothing seemed to work.

    Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.

    "Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.

    "Yes, I do," the patient replied.

    "Very well, then," the doctor said.

    He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

    The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"

    "Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger ... "Dead men do bleed!!"

    Hubble Photograph of Distant Galaxies Colliding

    The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.