03/29/2013

  • JOKES

    Dangers of Casual E-Mailing

    An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

    When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter on the address and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

    When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a loud scream, and fell to the floor in a faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room, and saw this note on the screen:

    DEAREST WIFE:
    JUST GOT CHECKED IN.
    EVERYTHING IS PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

    P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE...

    Yesterday for IT People

    Yesterday,
    All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
    Now my database has gone away.
    Oh I believe in yesterday.

    Suddenly,
    There's not half the files there used to be,
    And there's a milestone hanging over me
    The system crashed so suddenly.

    I pushed something wrong
    What it was I could not say.

    Now all my data's gone
    and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

    Yesterday,
    The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
    I knew my data was all here to stay,
    Now I believe in yesterday.

    One Liner

    Did you hear about the guy who went to the dentist to get new dentures? His insurance was denied and he only had a dollar on him... so he wound up with buck teeth.

    Pythagoras Was A Native American

    On the banks of a river sat three indian women, sitting on three different animal skins. On a deer skin was a woman with her son, and the son weighed 140 pounds. On a buffalo skin was another woman, and her son who weighed 160 pounds. And on a hippopotamus skin sat an immense indian woman, who weighed 300 pounds herself.

    A native american mathemetician saw this and noted that the squaw on the hippopotamus was equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.