06/19/2013

  • ARCAMAX JOKES

     

    Movie Theater Navigation

    “Pardon me, lady”, said the man trying to get back to his seat in the darkened movie theater, “but did I step on your toes a few minutes ago?”

    “You certainly did!!”, said the woman in the aisle seat.

    “Good, then I’m in the right row!” the man said as he went back to his seat.

    Miseducation

    Teacher: If you multiplied 50 by 8 and then divided by 4, what would you get?

    Student: The wrong answer.

    Is This Larry

    “Hello”

    “Hello”

    “Is that you, Larry?”

    “Yes, this is Larry.”

    “Are you sure this is Larry.”

    “Yes I’m sure, this is Larry !”

    “This is Pete… can you lend me twenty dollars ?”

    “I’ll tell Larry when he comes in.”

    Excessive Skepticism

    A guy and his dog go into a barroom. The bartender says, “Hey, get that dog out of here… we don’t allow dogs in here.”

    Wait a minute, the guy says, “This is no ordinary dog ! This is ‘Plato’ the talking dog !” “Yeah, sure” says the bartender.

    I’ll prove it to you,” says the guy. “Plato… what’s on top of a building?”

    “ROOF !” says the dog.

    “Look,” says the bartender, “just how dumb do you think I am?”

    “Wait a minute,” says the guy. “Plato, how does sandpaper feel?”

    “RUFF !” says the dog.

    “Do I have ‘stupid’ tattooed across my forehead or something,” says the bartender. “Now get that dog out of here! ”

    “Wait.. I’m not through”, says the guy. “Plato, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “RUTH !” says the dog.

    “That does it !! ” says the bartender, and he throws them both out on the street.

    Outside, the dog looks at his owner and says, “Do you think I should have gone with DiMaggio?”