Month: June 2013

  • DAILY QUOTES

    „Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.” Solon

  • JOKES

    Marine Biologist

    A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls.

    One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them.

    Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

    Best Round of Golf

    A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

    It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

    The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.

    He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife.

    Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

    The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!"

    "I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care, and you will be her care giver!"

    The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

    The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just messing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

    Signs You Are Getting Old

    Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

    Making whoopee in a twin bed is out of the question.

    You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

    6:00 a.m . is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

    You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

    You watch the Weather Channel.

    Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”

    You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

    Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

    You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

    Older relatives feel comfortable telling whoopee jokes around you.

    You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

    Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

    You Are Getting Old: The Signs

    You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

    Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

    You take naps.

    Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

    Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

    You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

    A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”

    You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

    “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

    90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

    You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

    When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh no what the heck!”

     

  • DEVOTIONAL LANCASTER BAPTIST CHURCH

     

     
     

    Standing in Adversity

    By Paul Chappell

     
     
     
      Monday, Jun 24, 2013

    "If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small."

    Proverbs 24:10

    In April of 2007 Seung-Hui Cho, a senior at Virginia Tech University, went on a rampage. By the time his murderous spree ended by suicide, Cho had killed 32 people and wounded 17 more. Most of those killed were shot as they sat in classes in the engineering school. Cho chained the doors shut to ensure it would be hard for his intended victims to escape. Panic broke out as students began to realize what was happening. When Cho came to one classroom, he found the door barred by the professor, 76 year old Liviu Librescu.

    Librescue, a Romanian Jew who survived the Nazi Holocaust and later moved to Israel before coming to America to teach, told the students to open the windows and escape outside. He saved the lives of a number of his students before falling victim to the gunman’s bullets. His son later told of the emails he received from young people who had been in the classroom when their professor saved their lives by literally placing himself into the line of fire. In the moment of adversity, his courage rose to the occasion and he proved himself a hero.

    Most of us don’t face tests that are quite that severe, but each of us faces moments when our faith and courage is put to the test. The opportunity to share the gospel with a friend or co-worker or stay silent, the temptation to take something that doesn’t belong to us or leave it—these are moments of adversity. These moments do not determine whether or not we have strength of character. Instead they reveal it. The crucible of adversity is the moment when what is in our hearts is shown to the world. Our responsibility to God is to live every day in His strength so that we do not fail the test.

    Today’s Proverbs Precept: 
    When the moment arises and you are put to the test, resolve to stand firm no matter what.

    Old Testament Reading
    Job 1

    CHAPTER 1

    1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil. 2 And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters. 3 His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the men of the east.

    4 And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them. 5 And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.

    6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them. 7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. 8 And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? 9 Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? 10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. 11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face. 12 And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.

    13 And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house: 14 And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them: 15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee. 16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of God is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee. 17 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away, yea, and slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee. 18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house: 19 And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.

    20 Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, 21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. 22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.

     

    CHAPTER 2

    1 Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them to present himself before the LORD. 2 And the LORD said unto Satan, From whence comest thou? And Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it. 3 And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against him, to destroy him without cause. 4 And Satan answered the LORD, and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man hath will he give for his life. 5 But put forth thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse thee to thy face. 6 And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life.

    7 So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown. 8 And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal; and he sat down among the ashes. 9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die. 10 But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.

    11 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. 12 And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. 13 So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

    New Testament Reading
    Acts 7:22

    22 And Moses was learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and was mighty in words and in deeds. 23 And when he was full forty years old, it came into his heart to visit his brethren the children of Israel. 24 And seeing one of them suffer wrong, he defended him, and avenged him that was oppressed, and smote the Egyptian: 25 For he supposed his brethren would have understood how that God by his hand would deliver them: but they understood not. 26 And the next day he shewed himself unto them as they strove, and would have set them at one again, saying, Sirs, ye are brethren; why do ye wrong one to another? 27 But he that did his neighbour wrong thrust him away, saying, Who made thee a ruler and a judge over us? 28 Wilt thou kill me, as thou diddest the Egyptian yesterday? 29 Then fled Moses at this saying, and was a stranger in the land of Madian, where he begat two sons.

    30 And when forty years were expired, there appeared to him in the wilderness of mount Sina an angel of the Lord in a flame of fire in a bush. 31 When Moses saw it, he wondered at the sight: and as he drew near to behold it, the voice of the Lord came unto him, 32 Saying, I am the God of thy fathers, the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. Then Moses trembled, and durst not behold. 33 Then said the Lord to him, Put off thy shoes from thy feet: for the place where thou standest is holy ground. 34 I have seen, I have seen the affliction of my people which is in Egypt, and I have heard their groaning, and am come down to deliver them. And now come, I will send thee into Egypt. 35 This Moses whom they refused, saying, Who made thee a ruler and a judge? the same did God send to be a ruler and a deliverer by the hand of the angel which appeared to him in the bush. 36 He brought them out, after that he had shewed wonders and signs in the land of Egypt, and in the Red sea, and in the wilderness forty years. 37 This is that Moses, which said unto the children of Israel, A prophet shall the Lord your God raise up unto you of your brethren, like unto me; him shall ye hear. 38 This is he, that was in the church in the wilderness with the angel which spake to him in the mount Sina, and with our fathers: who received the lively oracles to give unto us: 39 To whom our fathers would not obey, but thrust him from them, and in their hearts turned back again into Egypt, 40 Saying unto Aaron, Make us gods to go before us: for as for this Moses, which brought us out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him. 41 And they made a calf in those days, and offered sacrifice unto the idol, and rejoiced in the works of their own hands.

    42 Then God turned, and gave them up to worship the host of heaven; as it is written in the book of the prophets, O ye house of Israel, have ye offered to me slain beasts and sacrifices by the space of forty years in the wilderness? 43 Yea, ye took up the tabernacle of Moloch, and the star of your god Remphan, figures which ye made to worship them: and I will carry you away beyond Babylon.

    Proverb of the Day
    Proverbs 24

    1 Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them. 2 For their heart studieth destruction, and their lips talk of mischief. 3 Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: 4 And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. 5 A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength. 6 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety. 7 Wisdom is too high for a fool: he openeth not his mouth in the gate. 8 He that deviseth to do evil shall be called a mischievous person. 9 The thought of foolishness is sin: and the scorner is an abomination to men. 10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small. 11 If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those that are ready to be slain; 12 If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? and he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? and shall not he render to every man according to his works? 13 My son, eat thou honey, because it is good; and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste: 14 So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off. 15 Lay not wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous; spoil not his resting place: 16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. 17 Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: 18 Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him. 19 Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked; 20 For there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out. 21 My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change: 22 For their calamity shall rise suddenly; and who knoweth the ruin of them both? 23 These things also belong to the wise. It is not good to have respect of persons in judgment. 24 He that saith unto the wicked, Thou art righteous; him shall the people curse, nations shall abhor him: 25 But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them. 26 Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer. 27 Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house. 28 Be not a witness against thy neighbour without cause; and deceive not with thy lips. 29 Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work. 30 I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; 31 And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. 32 Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction. 33 Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: 34 So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man.

     

  • QUOTE OF THE DAY

    "It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan."
    -- Eleanor Roosevelt, Former First Lady
  • T&M HIS ANSWERS

    Yahvah's silence are His answers. If we only take as answers those that are visible to our senses, we are in a very elementary condition of grace.

    PRAYER: FATHER, WE PRAY THAT WE CAN KNOW YOUR ANSWERS WITHOUT ALWAYS HAVING TO SEE THE ANSWERS, AND HELP US TO KNOW YOU HAVE ANSWERED. HALLELUYAH! Bro. Doc

  • MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

    The human knee is a joint and not an entertainment. Pency Hammond, Our Truth III. Bro. Doc

  • DAILY QUOTES

    At present the peace of the world has been preserved, not by statesmen, but by capitalists.” Benjamin Disraeli

       
  • SACK LUNCHES

    From an email gotten this morning.
     
    I put my carry-on in the 

    luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned 

    seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm 

    glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will 

    get a short nap,' I thought. 

    Just before take-off, 

    a line of soldiers came down the aisle and 

    filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding 

    me. I decided to start a conversation. 

    'Where are you 

    headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to 

    me. 'Petawawa. We'll be there for two 

    weeks for special training, and then we're being 

    deployed to Afghanistan 

    After flying for about an hour, an announcement was 

    made that sack lunches were available for five 

    dollars. It would be several hours before we 

    reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch 

    would help pass the time... 

    As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if 

    he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems 

    like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. 

    Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. 

    I'll wait till we get to base.' 

    His friend agreed. 

    I looked around at the 

    other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked 

    to the back of the plane and handed the flight 

    attendant a fifty dollar bill. 'Take a 

    lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my 

    arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with 

    tears, she thanked me. 'My son was a soldier in 

    Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for 

    him.' 

    Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the 

    soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and 

    asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or 

    chicken?' 'Chicken,' I replied, 

    wondering why she asked. She turned and went to 

    the front of plane, returning a minute later 

    with a dinner plate from first class. 

    'This is your thanks.' 

    After we finished 

    eating, I went again to the back of the plane, 

    heading for the rest room. 

    A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to 

    be part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me 

    twenty-five dollars. 

    Soon after I returned 

    to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down 

    the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he 

    walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but 

    noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my 

    side of the plane. When he got to my row he 

    stopped, smiled, held out his hand and said, 'I 

    want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my 

    seat belt I stood and took the Captain's hand. 

    With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier 

    and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought 

    me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never 

    forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was 

    heard from all of the passengers. 

    Later I walked to the 

    front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A 

    man who was seated about six rows in front of me 

    reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He 

    left another twenty-five dollars in my palm. 

    When we landed I 

    gathered my belongings and started to deplane. 

    Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man 

    who stopped me, put something in my shirt 

    pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a 

    word. Another twenty-five dollars! 

    Upon entering the 

    terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their 

    trip to the base. 
    I walked over to 

    them and handed them seventy-five dollars. 'It 

    will take you some time to reach the base. 

    It will be about time for a sandwich. 
    God Bless You.' 

    Ten young 

    men left that flight feeling the love and 

    respect of their fellow travelers. 

    As I walked briskly to 

    my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe 

    return. These soldiers were giving their all for 

    our country. I could only give them a couple of 

    meals. It seemed so little.... 

    A veteran is someone 

    who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank 

    check made payable to 'The United States of 

    America ' for an amount of 'up to and 

    including my life.' 

    That is Honor, and 

    there are way too many people in this country 

    who no longer understand it.' 

     

  • JOKES

     

    Company Mergers

    Companies are always consolidating. Here is some inside information about some potential mergers...

    Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace

    Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner, Cracker

    3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood

    Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa

    FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP

    Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild

    Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants

    Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

    Fall Classes for Men at the Adult Learning Center

    Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

    How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    The Toilet Paper Roll—Does it Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Is it Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
    Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Fundamental Differences between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor
    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Dinner Dishes—Can They Levitate and Fly into the Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

    Loss of Identity—Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Learning How to Find Things—Starting with Looking in the Right Places and Not Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Health Watch—Bringing Her Flowers is Not Harmful to Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.
    Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy—Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    The Stove/Oven—What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

    Cinderella Revisited

    Cinderella is now 95 years old.

    After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

    One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.

    Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"

    The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

    Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."

    Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

    Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother"

    The fairy godmother replied, "It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"

    Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."

    At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

    And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

    Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

    Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

    The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life."

    With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

    For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

    Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair. He held her close in his young muscular arms.

    He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...

    "I bet you're sorry you neutered me."

    Dwarf Incident

    I rear ended a car this morning...

    I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

    The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

    He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

    So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

    That's how the fight started.

     

  • DEVOTIONAL LANCASTER BAPTIST CHURCH

     


     

    Hope and the Fear of the Lord

    By Paul Chappell

     
     
     
      Sunday, Jun 23, 2013

    "Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off."

    Proverbs 23:17-18

    Many people lose their faith in God when they do not immediately see good rewarded and evil punished. Instead of continuing to believe and fear Him, their hearts turn away from following God and seek satisfaction elsewhere. But even if we do not quickly see what God has promised come to pass, it is still certain. Think of Abraham who waited some twenty-five years for the birth of his promised son, Isaac. Though there was a moment when his faith wavered with Hagar, he continued to believe until the promise was fulfilled.

    Then after Isaac was born, God instructed Abraham to offer him as a sacrifice. Rather than struggling against God’s direction, Abraham obeyed. The level of his belief and fear of God commanded his obedience. Though no one had ever been raised from the dead at that point, Abraham believed that if he did what God said, Isaac would not remain dead. The Bible tells us that Abraham acted in faith, “Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure” (Hebrews 11:19). We should demonstrate that same level of hope and fear in our obedience and consistency as believers.

    Though hope and fear may seem like opposite traits, our belief that God will do what He promises is reinforced by our fear of His holiness and righteousness. We can depend on His unchanging nature and unfailing love no matter what the circumstances may seem to be. We should never allow those who are doing evil and seem to be doing well to make us doubt the goodness of God—or His judgment of sin.

    Today’s Proverbs Precept: 
    Knowing that you can completely rely on God for everything gives you the hope to continue fearing Him no matter what happens.

    Old Testament Reading
    Esther 9

    CHAPTER 9

    1 Now in the twelfth month, that is, the month Adar, on the thirteenth day of the same, when the king's commandment and his decree drew near to be put in execution, in the day that the enemies of the Jews hoped to have power over them, (though it was turned to the contrary, that the Jews had rule over them that hated them;) 2 The Jews gathered themselves together in their cities throughout all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus, to lay hand on such as sought their hurt: and no man could withstand them; for the fear of them fell upon all people. 3 And all the rulers of the provinces, and the lieutenants, and the deputies, and officers of the king, helped the Jews; because the fear of Mordecai fell upon them. 4 For Mordecai was great in the king's house, and his fame went out throughout all the provinces: for this man Mordecai waxed greater and greater. 5 Thus the Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword, and slaughter, and destruction, and did what they would unto those that hated them. 6 And in Shushan the palace the Jews slew and destroyed five hundred men. 7 And Parshandatha, and Dalphon, and Aspatha, 8 And Poratha, and Adalia, and Aridatha, 9 And Parmashta, and Arisai, and Aridai, and Vajezatha, 10 The ten sons of Haman the son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews, slew they; but on the spoil laid they not their hand. 11 On that day the number of those that were slain in Shushan the palace was brought before the king. 12 And the king said unto Esther the queen, The Jews have slain and destroyed five hundred men in Shushan the palace, and the ten sons of Haman; what have they done in the rest of the king's provinces? now what is thy petition? and it shall be granted thee: or what is thy request further? and it shall be done. 13 Then said Esther, If it please the king, let it be granted to the Jews which are in Shushan to do to morrow also according unto this day's decree, and let Haman's ten sons be hanged upon the gallows. 14 And the king commanded it so to be done: and the decree was given at Shushan; and they hanged Haman's ten sons. 15 For the Jews that were in Shushan gathered themselves together on the fourteenth day also of the month Adar, and slew three hundred men at Shushan; but on the prey they laid not their hand. 16 But the other Jews that were in the king's provinces gathered themselves together, and stood for their lives, and had rest from their enemies, and slew of their foes seventy and five thousand, but they laid not their hands on the prey, 17 On the thirteenth day of the month Adar; and on the fourteenth day of the same rested they, and made it a day of feasting and gladness. 18 But the Jews that were at Shushan assembled together on the thirteenth day thereof, and on the fourteenth thereof; and on the fifteenth day of the same they rested, and made it a day of feasting and gladness. 19 Therefore the Jews of the villages, that dwelt in the unwalled towns, made the fourteenth day of the month Adar a day of gladness and feasting, and a good day, and of sending portions one to another.

    20 And Mordecai wrote these things, and sent letters unto all the Jews that were in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus, both nigh and far, 21 To stablish this among them, that they should keep the fourteenth day of the month Adar, and the fifteenth day of the same, yearly, 22 As the days wherein the Jews rested from their enemies, and the month which was turned unto them from sorrow to joy, and from mourning into a good day: that they should make them days of feasting and joy, and of sending portions one to another, and gifts to the poor. 23 And the Jews undertook to do as they had begun, and as Mordecai had written unto them; 24 Because Haman the son of Hammedatha, the Agagite, the enemy of all the Jews, had devised against the Jews to destroy them, and had cast Pur, that is, the lot, to consume them, and to destroy them; 25 But when Esther came before the king, he commanded by letters that his wicked device, which he devised against the Jews, should return upon his own head, and that he and his sons should be hanged on the gallows. 26 Wherefore they called these days Purim after the name of Pur. Therefore for all the words of this letter, and of that which they had seen concerning this matter, and which had come unto them, 27 The Jews ordained, and took upon them, and upon their seed, and upon all such as joined themselves unto them, so as it should not fail, that they would keep these two days according to their writing, and according to their appointed time every year; 28 And that these days should be remembered and kept throughout every generation, every family, every province, and every city; and that these days of Purim should not fail from among the Jews, nor the memorial of them perish from their seed. 29 Then Esther the queen, the daughter of Abihail, and Mordecai the Jew, wrote with all authority, to confirm this second letter of Purim. 30 And he sent the letters unto all the Jews, to the hundred twenty and seven provinces of the kingdom of Ahasuerus, with words of peace and truth, 31 To confirm these days of Purim in their times appointed, according as Mordecai the Jew and Esther the queen had enjoined them, and as they had decreed for themselves and for their seed, the matters of the fastings and their cry. 32 And the decree of Esther confirmed these matters of Purim; and it was written in the book.

     

    CHAPTER 10

    1 And the king Ahasuerus laid a tribute upon the land, and upon the isles of the sea. 2 And all the acts of his power and of his might, and the declaration of the greatness of Mordecai, whereunto the king advanced him, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Media and Persia? 3 For Mordecai the Jew was next unto king Ahasuerus, and great among the Jews, and accepted of the multitude of his brethren, seeking the wealth of his people, and speaking peace to all his seed.

    New Testament Reading
    Acts 7:1

    1 Then said the high priest, Are these things so? 2 And he said, Men, brethren, and fathers, hearken; The God of glory appeared unto our father Abraham, when he was in Mesopotamia, before he dwelt in Charran, 3 And said unto him, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and come into the land which I shall shew thee. 4 Then came he out of the land of the Chaldaeans, and dwelt in Charran: and from thence, when his father was dead, he removed him into this land, wherein ye now dwell. 5 And he gave him none inheritance in it, no, not so much as to set his foot on: yet he promised that he would give it to him for a possession, and to his seed after him, when as yet he had no child. 6 And God spake on this wise, That his seed should sojourn in a strange land; and that they should bring them into bondage, and entreat them evil four hundred years. 7 And the nation to whom they shall be in bondage will I judge, said God: and after that shall they come forth, and serve me in this place. 8 And he gave him the covenant of circumcision: and so Abraham begat Isaac, and circumcised him the eighth day; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat the twelve patriarchs. 9 And the patriarchs, moved with envy, sold Joseph into Egypt: but God was with him, 10 And delivered him out of all his afflictions, and gave him favour and wisdom in the sight of Pharaoh king of Egypt; and he made him governor over Egypt and all his house. 11 Now there came a dearth over all the land of Egypt and Chanaan, and great affliction: and our fathers found no sustenance. 12 But when Jacob heard that there was corn in Egypt, he sent out our fathers first. 13 And at the second time Joseph was made known to his brethren; and Joseph's kindred was made known unto Pharaoh. 14 Then sent Joseph, and called his father Jacob to him, and all his kindred, threescore and fifteen souls. 15 So Jacob went down into Egypt, and died, he, and our fathers, 16 And were carried over into Sychem, and laid in the sepulchre that Abraham bought for a sum of money of the sons of Emmor the father of Sychem.

    17 But when the time of the promise drew nigh, which God had sworn to Abraham, the people grew and multiplied in Egypt, 18 Till another king arose, which knew not Joseph. 19 The same dealt subtilly with our kindred, and evil entreated our fathers, so that they cast out their young children, to the end they might not live. 20 In which time Moses was born, and was exceeding fair, and nourished up in his father's house three months: 21 And when he was cast out, Pharaoh's daughter took him up, and nourished him for her own son.

    Proverb of the Day
    Proverbs 23

    1 When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: 2 And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite. 3 Be not desirous of his dainties: for they are deceitful meat. 4 Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. 5 Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven. 6 Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: 7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. 8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words. 9 Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words. 10 Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless: 11 For their redeemer is mighty; he shall plead their cause with thee. 12 Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge. 13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. 15 My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine. 16 Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things. 17 Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. 18 For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off. 19 Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way. 20 Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: 21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags. 22 Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. 23 Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. 24 The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. 25 Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. 26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. 27 For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. 28 She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men. 29 Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes? 30 They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. 31 Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. 32 At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. 33 Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things. 34 Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of a mast. 35 They have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, and I felt it not: when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again.