01/15/2013

  • JOKES

    Easy Eggs

    One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for breakfast and noticed that the cook behind the counter looked kind of harassed. After I gave him my order, he asked me how I wanted my eggs.

    Not wanting to burden him further, I said cheerfully, "Oh, whatever is easiest for you."

    With that, he took two eggs, cracked them open onto my plate and handed it back to me.

    Bus Accident

    There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.

    The police chief asks, "What were the people doing on the bus?"

    The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun.

    The chief asks, "Yeah, but what else were they doing?".

    The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.

    The chief says, "Oh! They were drinking, huh??!" The chief continues, "Okay, were they doing anything else?"

    The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.

    The chief loses his patience, "If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?"

    The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.

    It Just Shows Stars

    A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem.

    "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.

    "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."

    "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

    Parking Meter

    On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."

    A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.

    "What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!"