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Jokes of the day - College jokes
A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: That's great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!
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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
I KNOW NO METHOD TO SECURE THE REPEAL OF BAD OR OBNOXIOUS LAWS SO EFFECTIVE AS THEIR STRINGENT EXECUTION. PRES. U.S. GRANT, INAUGURAL ADDRESS, 1869 Bro. Doc
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Little Rabbit FooFooOne day, Little Rabbit FooFoo was hopping through the forest, snatching all the mice, and bonking them on the head. A good fairy appeared. "Little Rabbit FooFoo, what you're doing is evil! Stop it, or Mother Nature will turn you into something gooney!" she said. Little Rabbit FooFoo just laughed and laughed. The next day, Little Rabbit FooFoo was again hopping through the forest, snatching all the mice, and bonking them on the head. Again, the good fairy appeared. "Little Rabbit FooFoo, I told you that's evil! Stop it, or Mother Nature will turn you into something gooney!" she said. Again, Little Rabbit FooFoo just laughed and laughed. The next day, Little Rabbit FooFoo was still hopping through the forest, snatching all the mice, and bonking them on the head. Mother Nature appeared, and, abracadabra! Little Rabbit FooFoo was turned into an ugly goon, never to terrorize mice again. The moral? Hare today, goon tomorrow... |
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Political CorrectnessI think the political correctness is getting ridiculous. Today I overheard a little boy say he was going to go play a game of Cattle Management Specialists and Native Americans. |
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How the Media Would Cover The ApocalypseUSA Today: The Wall Street Journal: Microsoft Systems Journal: Sports Illustrated: Wired: Rolling Stone: Readers Digest: 'Bye Discover Magazine: Tv Guide: Lady's Home Journal: Inc. Magazine: |
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Pig With a Wooden LegA traveler was driving through Arkansas when he lost his way and got off the main highway. As he drove by, he saw rows and rows of pigsties and pigpens and pigs running in fields and pigs wallowing in mud. Suddenly, his eye caught something really strange. He did a double take, muttered to himself and then looked a third time. He wondered if he had seen correctly - it looked like a pig with a wooden leg! He found the lane to the farm and drove up into the farmyard, where he was met by the farmer. "Excuse me," the traveler said. "I was just driving by and looking at all your pigs, and I noticed something that I just had to stop and ask about. Tell me, did I see right? Is there really a pig out there with a wooden leg?" The farmer smiled. "Oh, that would be old Caesar you saw. He's the finest pig a man could ever hope to have - and smart! Well, let me tell you a little about that pig. You see that barge down there on the river? That's a mining dredge, taking out platinum ore. Old Caesar sniffed out the vein and showed us how to set it up. Now that dredge brings me in about $120,000 every year. "There's another thing, too, a little more personal. One night a couple of years ago I got to drinking and I guess I had more than I should have. I passed out drunk, fell down and knocked over a lamp. That started a fire in the house and old Caesar smelled the smoke. He came in the back door, got the wife and kid out, roused me up and got me out. "There is no question about it - that night old Caesar saved all our lives and you know that is not the sort of thing a man is going to forget too easily." "Why," the traveler said, "this is all amazing! I have never heard of a pig like this before! This is fantastic! But tell me, how did he get that wooden leg? Was he in a wreck or something?" The farmer laughed and said, "Well, naturally, when you have a pig that smart, you don't want to eat him all at one time!" |
„Our heroes are people and people are flawed. Don't let that taint the thing you love.” Randy K. Milholland Bro. Doc
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"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt |
“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead..”
Oscar Wilde
LAWS GRIND THE POOR, AND RICH MEN RULE THE LAW. GOLDSMITH, THE TRAVELLER. Bro. Doc
That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises. Heb 6:12
Let me ask you a question today: Who is the most influential spiritual leaders in your life right now? Is there one leader whom you respect and admire so exceptionally that you would want to emulate him and try to be like him in your own life? Is there one certain leader producing the type of fruit you long to see generated in your own personal life? If so, who is that leader?
You may wonder if it's right to follow someone so closely that you actually start emulating them. But the Book of Yahvah is replete with Scriptures that instruct us to be followers of spiritual leaders. One such Scripture is Heb 6:12: "That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises."
Notice that this Scripture says we are to be "followers of them through faith and patience inherit the promises." The word "followers" is taken from the Greek mimetes, from which we get the English word imitate. Other words that are derived from mimetes are "mimic" and "mime." However, the best translation of this word is actually "actor."
Therefore, the command to "follow" isn't referring to a casual type of following; rather, it implies an intentional study of the deeds, words, actions, and thoughts of another person in an attempt to fully understand that person and then to replicate his attributes in one's own life. This type of following enables a person to think like his subject, and act like his subject, mimic his subject's movements, make the vocal intonations of his subject, and act like his subject in a masterful way. However, this can only be achieved by those seriously committed to the act of replication. Such a commitment to act, mimic, or replicate a respected leader is the result of true discipleship.
Therefore, you could actually translate this phrase: "...But skillfully and convincingly act like those who through faith and patience inherit the promises."
The writer of Hebrews understood the power of imitation. That's why he said in essence, "If you want to walk in faith find someone who successfully walks in faith. Watch what he says, how he behaves, and how he lives--and then act like him!
Putting on Messiah is a daily mindset-- a daily, hour-by-hour determination. So wake up and declare that you have the mind of Messiah! Find some righteous people who live according to who they truly are in the Holy Ghost--new creations with the nature, character, desire, and behavior of Yahvahosha Messiah. Study their lives and follow their example. In other words, ACTS like those who through faith and patience inherit the promises!
PRAYER: YAHVAH, I NEED AN EXAMPLE THAT I CAN FOLLOW AND IMITATE! YOUR WORD COMMANDS ME TO IMITATE STRONG AND SUCCESSFUL SPIRITUAL LEADERS, SO I AM ASKING YOU TO HELP ME FIND THAT EXACT LEADER WHOM YOU WANT ME TO FOLLOW AND IMITATE. GIVE ME THE GRACE TO DO WHAT HE DOES, SAY WHAT HE SAYS, AND ACT THE WAY HE ACTS, UNTIL FINALLY I NO LONGER HAVE TO ACT BECAUSE I HAVE BECOME LIKE THE PERSON I HAVE BEEN IMITATING. HOLY GHOST, I WANT TO BE OBEDIENT TO YAHVAH'S WORD. SINCE YAHVAH TELLS ME TO MIMIC THOSE WHO THROUGH FAITH AND PATIENCE INHERIT THE PROMISES OF YAHVAH. I'M ASKING YOU TO PLEASE HELP ME RECOGNIZE THE PEOPLE WHOM I SHOULD LOOK TO AS SPIRITUAL EXAMPLES IN MY WALK WITH YAHVAH.
MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY
I confess that I do not have to find my way by myself! By locating righteous examples, I can imitate these people's lives and produce the same fruit they produce in their lives. So right now I choose to follow the examples of those who have preceded me--acting like them and replicating both their acts and their righteous fruit in my life. Yahvah's Word says this is what I am to do, so I will do it as I am commanded. The Holy Ghost will help me know exactly who should be the supreme examples in my life, and He will help me follow their example as I ought to do. I declare this by faith in Yahvahosha's Name Halleluyah!
Bro. Doc
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"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers." Rudyard Kipling |
“Bid me to love, and I will give a loving heart to thee.”
Robert Herrick Bro. Doc
A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her...but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account.” W. Somerset Maugham Bro. Doc
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