Month: April 2013

  • MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

    Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. O.W. Holmes, The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table. Bro. Doc

     

  • JOKES

    If Men Got Pregnant

    1. Morning sickness would rank as the nations number one health problem.

    2. Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.

    3. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

    4. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

    5. All methods of birth control would become 100% effective.

    6. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

    7. There would be a cure for stretch marks.

    8. They would serve beer instead of coffee at antenatal classes.

    9. Men wouldn't think twins were so cute.

    10. Sons would have to come home from dates by 9 pm.

    Jesus and His Golf Partners

    Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.

    Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.

    The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond.

    On the way to the pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.

    Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."

    My Jobs

    My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, couldn't concentrate.

    Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

    After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a so-so job.

    Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

    Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

    I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

    My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

    I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

    Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

    I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

    I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

    So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

    After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

    My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

    Men Don't Listen

    A young man was driving up a steep, winding and narrow mountain road. Going round a tight corner, he notices a woman driver who is coming in the opposite direction begin to lean out of her window. As they pass each other she yells at him - "PIG!!!!"

    The man immediately leans out of his window and screams back at her, "WITCH!!!"

    Each continues on their way, and as the man rounds the next bend he crashes into a pig, right in the middle of the road...

    If only men would listen.

     

  • DAILY QUOTE

    „Cats and monkeys; monkeys and cats; all human life is there.” Henry James

     

     

  • INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

    Motivational Quote of the Day…

    "The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it."

    Moliere

    Love Quote of the Day…

    “One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving..”

    Paulo Coelho

  • DEVOTIONAL LANCASTER BAPTIST CHURCH

    To

     
     

    Make Your Choice

    By Paul Chappell

     
     
     
      Tuesday, Apr 16, 2013

    "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps."

    Proverbs 16:9

    President Ronald Reagan’s family was often poor while he was growing up because of his father’s alcoholism. He told the story later in his life that an aunt had offered to purchase a pair of shoes for him. She took him to the cobbler, who asked young Reagan, "Do you want square toes or round toes?" Unable to decide, Reagan didn't answer, so the cobbler gave him a few days to choose.

    Several days later the cobbler saw Reagan on the street and asked him again what kind of toes he wanted on his shoes. Reagan still couldn't decide, so the shoemaker replied, "Well, come by in a couple of days. Your shoes will be ready." When the future president did so, he found a pair of shoes—one square-toed and one round-toed! "This will teach you to never let people make decisions for you," the cobbler said to his indecisive customer. "I learned right then and there," Reagan said later, "if you don't make your own decisions, someone else will."

    Often when faced with a difficult decision, we give in to the temptation to put it off. We hope that it will get easier in the future, but that is rarely the case. Instead the wavering between choices paralyzes us and leaves us unable to take action and do what is right. “How long halt ye between two opinions?” (1 Kings 18:21) Elijah asked the people on Mt. Carmel. This is not “halt” in the sense of stopping, but rather the Hebrew word means to be lame or to limp. When we are indecisive, we cripple ourselves and make it difficult to accomplish great things for God. It is impossible to know everything before making a decision. So learn what you can, seek wise counsel, pray, and then choose your course and follow through.

    Today’s Proverbs Precept: 
    Once you have the relevant information in hand to resolve a question, prayerfully make your decision and trust God to direct your steps.

    Old Testament Reading
    1 Samuel 30

    CHAPTER 30

    1 And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire; 2 And had taken the women captives, that were therein: they slew not any, either great or small, but carried them away, and went on their way. 3 So David and his men came to the city, and, behold, it was burned with fire; and their wives, and their sons, and their daughters, were taken captives. 4 Then David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep. 5 And David's two wives were taken captives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite. 6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

    7 And David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech's son, I pray thee, bring me hither the ephod. And Abiathar brought thither the ephod to David. 8 And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all. 9 So David went, he and the six hundred men that were with him, and came to the brook Besor, where those that were left behind stayed. 10 But David pursued, he and four hundred men: for two hundred abode behind, which were so faint that they could not go over the brook Besor. 11 And they found an Egyptian in the field, and brought him to David, and gave him bread, and he did eat; and they made him drink water; 12 And they gave him a piece of a cake of figs, and two clusters of raisins: and when he had eaten, his spirit came again to him: for he had eaten no bread, nor drunk any water, three days and three nights. 13 And David said unto him, To whom belongest thou? and whence art thou? And he said, I am a young man of Egypt, servant to an Amalekite; and my master left me, because three days agone I fell sick. 14 We made an invasion upon the south of the Cherethites, and upon the coast which belongeth to Judah, and upon the south of Caleb; and we burned Ziklag with fire. 15 And David said to him, Canst thou bring me down to this company? And he said, Swear unto me by God, that thou wilt neither kill me, nor deliver me into the hands of my master, and I will bring thee down to this company. 16 And when he had brought him down, behold, they were spread abroad upon all the earth, eating and drinking, and dancing, because of all the great spoil that they had taken out of the land of the Philistines, and out of the land of Judah. 17 And David smote them from the twilight even unto the evening of the next day: and there escaped not a man of them, save four hundred young men, which rode upon camels, and fled. 18 And David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away: and David rescued his two wives. 19 And there was nothing lacking to them, neither small nor great, neither sons nor daughters, neither spoil, nor any thing that they had taken to them: David recovered all. 20 And David took all the flocks and the herds, which they drave before those other cattle, and said, This is David's spoil.

    21 And David came to the two hundred men, which were so faint that they could not follow David, whom they had made also to abide at the brook Besor: and they went forth to meet David, and to meet the people that were with him: and when David came near to the people, he saluted them. 22 Then answered all the wicked men and men of Belial, of those that went with David, and said, Because they went not with us, we will not give them ought of the spoil that we have recovered, save to every man his wife and his children, that they may lead them away, and depart. 23 Then said David, Ye shall not do so, my brethren, with that which the LORD hath given us, who hath preserved us, and delivered the company that came against us into our hand. 24 For who will hearken unto you in this matter? but as his part is that goeth down to the battle, so shall his part be that tarrieth by the stuff: they shall part alike. 25 And it was so from that day forward, that he made it a statute and an ordinance for Israel unto this day. 26 And when David came to Ziklag, he sent of the spoil unto the elders of Judah, even to his friends, saying, Behold a present for you of the spoil of the enemies of the LORD; 27 To them which were in Bethel, and to them which were in south Ramoth, and to them which were in Jattir, 28 And to them which were in Aroer, and to them which were in Siphmoth, and to them which were in Eshtemoa, 29 And to them which were in Rachal, and to them which were in the cities of the Jerahmeelites, and to them which were in the cities of the Kenites, 30 And to them which were in Hormah, and to them which were in Chorashan, and to them which were in Athach, 31 And to them which were in Hebron, and to all the places where David himself and his men were wont to haunt.

     

    CHAPTER 31

    1 Now the Philistines fought against Israel: and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines, and fell down slain in mount Gilboa. 2 And the Philistines followed hard upon Saul and upon his sons; and the Philistines slew Jonathan, and Abinadab, and Malchishua, Saul's sons. 3 And the battle went sore against Saul, and the archers hit him; and he was sore wounded of the archers. 4 Then said Saul unto his armourbearer, Draw thy sword, and thrust me through therewith; lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and abuse me. But his armourbearer would not; for he was sore afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword, and fell upon it. 5 And when his armourbearer saw that Saul was dead, he fell likewise upon his sword, and died with him. 6 So Saul died, and his three sons, and his armourbearer, and all his men, that same day together. 7 And when the men of Israel that were on the other side of the valley, and they that were on the other side Jordan, saw that the men of Israel fled, and that Saul and his sons were dead, they forsook the cities, and fled; and the Philistines came and dwelt in them.

    8 And it came to pass on the morrow, when the Philistines came to strip the slain, that they found Saul and his three sons fallen in mount Gilboa. 9 And they cut off his head, and stripped off his armour, and sent into the land of the Philistines round about, to publish it in the house of their idols, and among the people. 10 And they put his armour in the house of Ashtaroth: and they fastened his body to the wall of Bethshan. 11 And when the inhabitants of Jabeshgilead heard of that which the Philistines had done to Saul; 12 All the valiant men arose, and went all night, and took the body of Saul and the bodies of his sons from the wall of Bethshan, and came to Jabesh, and burnt them there. 13 And they took their bones, and buried them under a tree at Jabesh, and fasted seven days.

    New Testament Reading
    Luke 13:23

    23 Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them, 24 Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. 25 When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are: 26 Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets. 27 But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity. 28 There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out. 29 And they shall come from the east, and from the west, and from the north, and from the south, and shall sit down in the kingdom of God. 30 And, behold, there are last which shall be first, and there are first which shall be last.

    31 The same day there came certain of the Pharisees, saying unto him, Get thee out, and depart hence: for Herod will kill thee. 32 And he said unto them, Go ye, and tell that fox, Behold, I cast out devils, and I do cures to day and to morrow, and the third day I shall be perfected. 33 Nevertheless I must walk to day, and to morrow, and the day following: for it cannot be that a prophet perish out of Jerusalem. 34 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen doth gather her brood under her wings, and ye would not! 35 Behold, your house is left unto you desolate: and verily I say unto you, Ye shall not see me, until the time come when ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.

    Proverb of the Day
    Proverbs 16

    1 The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD. 2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits. 3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established. 4 The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil. 5 Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished. 6 By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil. 7 When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. 8 Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right. 9 A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. 10 A divine sentence is in the lips of the king: his mouth transgresseth not in judgment. 11 A just weight and balance are the LORD'S: all the weights of the bag are his work. 12 It is an abomination to kings to commit wickedness: for the throne is established by righteousness. 13 Righteous lips are the delight of kings; and they love him that speaketh right. 14 The wrath of a king is as messengers of death: but a wise man will pacify it. 15 In the light of the king's countenance is life; and his favour is as a cloud of the latter rain. 16 How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver! 17 The highway of the upright is to depart from evil: he that keepeth his way preserveth his soul. 18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. 19 Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud. 20 He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he. 21 The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning. 22 Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it: but the instruction of fools is folly. 23 The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips. 24 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. 25 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. 26 He that laboureth laboureth for himself; for his mouth craveth it of him. 27 An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire. 28 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. 29 A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good. 30 He shutteth his eyes to devise froward things: moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass. 31 The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness. 32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. 33 The lot is cast into the lap; but the whole disposing thereof is of the LORD.

  • MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

    Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. Gen C. H. Grosvenor, Speech in House of Representatives. Bro. Doc

  • T&M SHUN NEEDLESS WORRY

    Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought  for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body more than rainment? Mt 6:25

    While you do your best, were not your body and mind with the cares of this life. Do not spoil your religious experience by worry, but trust Yahvah to work for you and to do for you what you cannot do for yourself. the life is more than meat...
    There is much needess worry, much trouble of mind, over things that cannot be helped. Yahvah would have His children put their trust fully in Him. Our Eternal is a just and righteous Yahvah; His children should acknowledge His goodness and His justice in the large and small things of life. Those who cherish the spirit of worry and complaint are refusing to recognize His guiding hand.

    Needless anxiety is a foolish thing, and it hinders us from standing in a true position before Yahvah. When the Holy Ghost comes into the  soul, there will  be no desirfe to complain and murmur  because we do not have everything we want. Rather, we will thank Yahvah from a full heart for the blessings that we have...

    There is one blessing that all may have who seek for it in the right way. It is the Holy Ghost of Yahvah, and this is a blessing that brings all other blessings in its train. If we will come to Yahvah as little children, asking for His unmerited favor and power and salvation, not for our own  uplifting, but that we may bring blessing to those around us, our petitions will not  be denied. then let us study the Word of Yahvah that we may know how to take hold of His promises and claim them as our own. Then we shall be happy...

    Messiah came to earth and gave His life that we might have eternal Salvation. He wants to encircle each of us with the atmosphere of eden, that we may give to the world an example that will honor the religion of Messiah...In this life we are to be controlled  by the spirit that rules in the heavenly courts. Righteousness and truth are to go before us. And the majesty of Yahvah will be the reward of all who serve Him acceptably. They obtain Messiah's righteousness.

    PRAYER: YAHVAH WE COME BEFORE YOU, ASKING YOU TO HELP US TO NOT WORRY ABOUT THINGS WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. WE CAN'T CHANGE THINGS, SO WHY ARE WORRYING ABOUT IT? WE ASK THAT YOU WILL BE WITH US AND HELP US TO BE OVERCOMERS OF WORRY AND OTHER THINGS THAT HINDER US AND CAUSE US TO SIN. THANK YOU FOR LOVING US AND KEEPING US IN YOUR CARE. Bro. Doch

  • INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

    Motivational Quote of the Day…

    "The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."

    Albert Einstein

    Love Quote of the Day…

    “I think we have all experienced passion that is not in any sense reasonable.”

    Stephen Fry

  • STARBUCKS CEO TELLS CHRISTIANS TO SELL STOCK AND SUPPORT OTHER COMPANY

    Starbucks has made no secret about their SUPPORT FOR GAY RIGHTS. A year ago, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz ANNOUNCED THAT THE COMPANY WAS SUPPORTING THE PRO SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BILL BEING PUSHED IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON. He even told Tom  Strohbar, a Starbucks shareholder and founder of The Corporate Morality Action Center: "WE BELIEVE IT'S DEFENSIBLE-BUT WE'RE NOT REACHING THAT DECISION TO IN ANY WAY OFFEND YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. AND I WOULD SAY CANDIDLY, SINCE WE HAVE MADE THAT DECISION THERE HAS NOT BEEN ANY DILUTION WHATSOEVER IN OUR BUSINESS.'

    Last week Starbucks held its annual shareholder's meeting and shareholder Tom Strohbar was in attendance. NOTING THAT A RECENT BOYCOTT LAUNCHED AGAINST STARBUCKS BY THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR MARRIAGE HAS RESULTED IN A SIGNIFICANT DECREASE IN SALES, Strohbar asked Shultz:

    "In the first full quarter after this boycott was announced, our sales and our earnings, shall we say politely, were a bit disappointing."

    Aware of Strohbar's Christian views on marriage and his opposition to the company's stand on same sex marriage Schultz replied:

    "IF YOU FEEL, RESPECTFULLY, THAT YOU CAN GET A HIGHER RETURN THAN THE 38% YOU GOT LAST YEAR, IT'S A FREE COUNTRY. YOU CAN SELL YOUR SHARES IN STARBUCKS AND BUY SHARES IN ANOTHER COMPANY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

    Many have taken Schultz's response to mean that anyone who doesn't agree with Starbucks methods, including their stance for same sex marriage can sell their stock and support another company they like even better. Basically, SCHULTZ DOESN'T CARE ABOUT CHRISTIANS OR THEIR MONEY, REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH IT COULD HURT THE COMPANY'S BUSINESS.

    I know of several people who stopped buying Starbucks coffee or other products last year. One person in particular consumed as much Starbucks coffee as Abby on NCIS consumes Caf-Pow. Once Schultz announced the compnay's support of sexual perverse life-style, she stopped main-lining their coffee. That probably cost the local Starbucks a small fortune in revenue.

    But why hasn't the mainstream media picked up on this story like they did when Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy announced that they supported traditional marriage between one man and one woman? The liberal media attacked Cathy like a school of piranhas on a wounded cow. Yet the same media ignores Schultz's statement to sell your shares of the company stock and take your business elsewhere.

    When I was younger, and TV was still black/white, you had to physical get up and go to the TV to change the channel or adjust the volume. It was then that most of the news reported was news. Today. they no longer report news, rather they twist the news to support their agendas. Bias has become the norm and truth has been replaced by contorted lies. The difference between Chck-fil-A and Starbucks is proof of the biased agenda of today media.

    IN LIEU OF WHAT STARBUCKS CEO HOWARD SCHULTZ SAID, I URGE EVERY CHRISTIAN WHO OWN STARBUCKS STOCK TO SELL IT, AND TO STOP DRINKING THEIR COFFEE. TAKE YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE, PREFERABLY TO ONE THAT SUPPORTS BIBLICAL DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE. IF EVERY CHRISTIAN IN AMERICA STOPPED GIVING STARBUCKS THEIR BUSINESS THE COMPANY WOULD SOON FIND THEMSELVES IN DIRE STRAITS FINANCIALLY. They would be forced to rethink their stand on marriage or go out of business. Either one would be a win for Christians who stand for marriage between one man and one woman. Christian News.

    My comments are this. We as Religious people SHOULD NOT BE SUPPORT A COMPANY THAT SUPPORT QUEERS. If we do and still will after reading this article, I believe when we stand before the Judgment Seat, we will beheld accountable for this. Bro. Doc

  • JOKES

    Shirley's Makeover

    A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?"

    God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live."

    Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.

    She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?"

    God replied, "Shirley! I didn't recognize you!"

    Knock Knock! Who's There?

    Dot.

    Dot who?

    Dots for me to know, and you to find out.

    Neighbors in Montana

    A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana.

    After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse.

    "Hold it neighbor" the man says, " I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only six miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting.... We'll have a great time".

    Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and ask's " How should I dress?"

    " Aw, don't matter" replied the neighbor, " Only gonna be the two of us